Of the many things that drive us crazy about Ashley, one of the most aggravating is the pity rose on a group date. Ashley seems to like the men that don’t really like being on a date with her. With the exception of Glambert, every group date rose has gone to someone complaining about not enjoying the date. Quasimodo seems to be the only contestant left that does not spend his time whining on group dates (even when he gets punched in the face).
Monday night, after one of most poignant examples yet of how boring the Bachelorette has become without Bentley, Emily (from the Bachelor) showed up to be
ogled interviewed by Chris Harrison and provided a few tearful comments on her and Brad’s relationship. She had a lot of things to share and Chris had a lot of inane responses, but buried in the midst of it was Emily’s declaration that she had to be honest to herself and to her heart. And that’s why she dropped Brad.
Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?
Hasn’t there been another contestant recently that bravely remained true to his heart, despite the immense pressure of a hateful public and the powerful publicity machine of ABC?
Yes, there has been. Bentley. This blog has covered Bentley’s truthfulness and honesty extensively, and has quite rightly lauded him for it. Why is everyone supporting Emily for doing the same thing they criticized Bentley for? Maybe it just reflects our society’s double standard. Women are allowed to be honest with their feelings but men aren’t. In any case, one thing is certain. Bentley will be greatly missed, and the show just isn’t the same without him.
Since Bentley’s departure, the Bachelorette is definitely getting a little old. Sometimes the show seems down right prehistoric. We are also having a hard time seeing exactly what Ashley’s “type” is. For the remaining contestants, she kept a dilettante alien, Ned Flanders, two short grizzled dudes, and the Geico cavemen. What, if anything, do these guys have in common (besides playing second fiddle to Bentley)?
While our allegiance is to Bentley, we can’t help but like Ames. You could say we have developed an other-worldly fascination with him. Now that he’s a finalist in the Bachelorette, he’s finally starting to get the media attention he craves deserves.
According to the gossip rags: “Although billed on the show as a ‘portfolio manager,’ one of his exes says he never really has real jobs. “He doesn’t really work. He just gets degrees and travels around.”
Sounds pretty good to us. Why is this supposed to be a knock against him? Like the other guys resumes are so great. Would you rather have him cut hair, make appetizers, or sell phones at a kiosk? He’s simply sampling from our planet’s rich intellectual and cultural heritage. Contrary to what this report implies, portfolio management (read: managing your family’s fortune) is a totally legitimate profession for a 30-year old aspiring alien actor. Plus, portfolios can get seriously crazy if you don’t manage them properly.
The article goes on to say that Ames is a “lady killer.” He’s charming, intellectual and good-looking, but he uses those great assets to get whatever he wants from women.”
Ah, yeah, or he uses his synthetic pheromones and wide-eye vision to attract them (which appear to be second only to Bentley’s rustic charm and rugged good-looks at attracting Ashley). He certainly Ames to please in that outfit.
Over the weekend we noticed another nationally televised competition that is quite similar to The Bachelorette. The 96th Annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest held on July 4th at Coney Island. The contest pits professional eaters against one another to consume as many hot dogs as they can in 10 minutes. The winner (who typically eats more than 60 hot dogs during the period) gets a mustard colored champion belt and $20,000.
While downing 60 greasy hot dogs and courting Ashley Herbert evoke similar feelings (both are likely to make you nauseous), we actually wanted to point out another similarity between the eating contest and the Bachelorette. This year Joey “Jaws” Chestnut won the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest after consuming 62 hot dogs in 10 minutes. The event played on ESPN and on televisions around the nation. But a much lesser publicized event was happening in the same city at the same time. Seven-time Champion and world record holder for eating hot dogs (among other things) Takeru “Tsunami” Kobayashi held an event on a roof top where he consumed 69 hotdogs in 10 minutes smashing Chestnut’s record. Consuming 7 more hotdogs is the eating contest equivalent of Kobayashi lapping Joey. Kobayashi was banned from the competition because he wouldn’t sign an exclusive contract with Major League Eating (yes, seriously, there is an organization trying to make eating a professional sport that wants to charge “athletes”). So Chestnut was crowned the wiener on national television by MLE president George Shea who would later call Kobayashi’s record a farce.
So what does this have to do with The Bachelorette? Just as the Nathan’s eating contest wants to find the greatest hot dog eater, The Bachelorette purports to find the best love match for Ashley. But both contests also want to make as much money as possible. So they end of squeezing more money out of the show and their contestants at the expense of “REALITY.” When Bentley was cast, Bachelorette producers were ecstatic about the ratings that would come from Bentley’s brutal honesty just as the Nathan’s contest organizers were ecstatic to have the iconic Kobyashi as their original hot dog eating champion. Yet Kobayashi and Bentley refused to play the game their handlers wanted them to play, and both of them walked. Now their respective contests are stuck trying to be the premier event while the champions sit on the sidelines. So who is the Joey Chestnut to the Bentley Kobayashi?
SPOILER ALERT (We think it’s a spoiler, but we don’t know for sure. Bentley fans believe it’s obvious given the Bentley rebound Ashley is on. Also, does it really matter to alert you when Bentley is gone?).
From what we understand, it’s the same guy who caught Ashley first off of the Bentley rebound (which she is still experiencing) – J.P. After seeing how hard Ashley fell for Bentley, it’s obvious that the love she feels for J.P. is a direct result of the Bentley rebound. At the end of the day, Joey and J.P. might get the coveted yellow belt and be crowned wieners on national television, those familiar with reality know who the real champions are: Bentley Williams and Takeru Kobayashi.
Before you make comments on this page, we want to identify that there are graphic analogies that could easily be made with a contest of consuming multiple wieners and the set up to The Bachelorette show—but we want to keep this site family friendly.
After watching The Soup clip from our prior post, the Bentley apologist team can’t help but to feel like the show is completely lost. Not because of Bentley, but Because of Ashley. Ashley is not over Bentley, every time his name is mentioned it just shows how bad she has it for him. In the words of Chris Rock, I’ve seen better actin’ in tough actin Tinactin. No amount of editing is going to save what is really going on. Bentley is the guy she wanted and cant have. Classic problem for girls. Any relationship that will come from this season is totally tanked because of Ashley’s teenage head over heels attachment to Bentley after only two dates has now left her choosing a second best alternative.
Originally we were inspired to start this site because, as Bentley fans, we didn’t think it was right that such an awesome Bachelorette contestant was getting villainized.We wanted to celebrate the man and defend his words and actions. We figured that no one would care since viewers are usually content to drink the Kool-Aid and accept everything Bachelorette producers foist upon them. But just over a month later, we are happy to report that we’re “All Grown Up.” Our site hit 100,000 views today as Bacholrette viewers were searching for any thing they could find on Bentley. While it may not seem like much for one day, we have significantly altered the Bentley conversation as now more people are starting to question the reality of the show and notice the douchebaggery of Chris Harrison. Moreover, given the timing of this event and demand for conversations about Bentley, we believe this shows how truly American being a Bentley fan is.
So where do the Apologists go from here? Bentley was our horse in the Bachelorette race, and even although he’s gone for good, we don’t plan to pick another one. Especially if we have that many fans of the site. Instead, we are going to act exactly like Ashley. For the rest of the season, we’re going to keep tabs on all the second fiddles [contestants still in the race who are clear second choices to Bentley], while still pining for Bentley and continuing to talk incessantly about him. Hope you’ll join us.