Screenshot from Chris Harrison’s iPad

This is beyond inappropriate. Chris Harrison is already telling viewers which contestants they are allowed to like and which contestants they’re supposed to hate. Now he’s running around scribbling over pictures of the Best Looking Bachelorette contestant of all time (and quite possibly one of the best looking men in America). Bentley’ s picture is a cultural artifact, a symbol of what was once thought to be an unattainable ideal for handsomeness. You can trash him on TV, and spew venom about him in your blog rants, but we will not stand idly by while you deface our cultural artifacts and mock our sense of beauty and wonderment. Get a life, Chris Harrison!

Douche trends: or Why Chris Harrison Hates Bentley

Bachelorette host Chris Harrison has been fairly relentless when it comes to criticizing Bentley. He has called him the “worst villain ever on The Bachelorette,” has blogged that the things Bentley said were “out of line and disrespectful,” and were “not appropriate,” and finally that Bentley was “not cool in his book.” (Given his profound respect for Chris Harrison, Bentley is probably most concerned with this last one). With so many other contestants to pick on (Ben “the Caveman” Flajnik; Ames “Disney’s Hercules” Brown), it kind of makes you wonder what Chris Harrison has against Bentley. The answer may lie in the above graph of trends in Google searches. The red line indicates a search for “douche” while the blue and orange lines represent Chris Harrison and Bentley, respectively. As you can see, Chris Harrison has always been a huge douche, and although both are trending upwards, Bentley seems to have recently overtaken him. So keep the criticism coming Chris Harrison. Maybe you can stave off the title of biggest douche on the show, at least for another week or so.

 

 

Bentley: a Great Catch for any Gal

Bentley is:

Poetic (tickle my pickle)

Considerate and caring (offers to ‘burp’ Drunk Tim in episode 1; helps him get to the limo)

Athletic (he’s a swimmer, in pee or otherwise)

Honest (expressed his preference for Emily)

Incredibly good looking (see any post on this site)

Can be the designated driver (doesn’t drink, apparently)

Will let you plan your own wedding however you want (he would rather be swimming)

Passionate (do I need to ram my tongue down her throat?)

Contrarian (in a world of “yes men,” we need some more “NO! Men.” No to wedding planning, no to drinking, no to swimming on conventional liquids)

Swimming in Pee vs. Planning a Wedding

People are bashing Bentley for saying he would rather swim in pee than plan a wedding with Ashley. Even writing those harsh words makes you cringe. But consider a few things.

Planning a wedding is a hard job. There’s the cake, the flowers, the guest list, the venue, the music, the bridesmaid gifts, the dinners with people you don’t know all that well. All of this takes an enormous amount of time, money, and a whole lot of stress. But you know what’s worse? Planning a wedding that will be televised in front of millions of people with someone you have only spent 20 minutes with (1 on 1). Bentley was simply expressing his distaste for planning weddings in general. And guess what?

While the other contestants have stars in their eyes, he actually knows what it’s like to plan a wedding. So before your criticize Bentley, have a good look in the mirror and ask yourself how much your guy would enjoy planning a wedding with you. He may prefer doing just about anything else, including taking a dip in a steaming pool of urine.

Bentley and the Water Glass

In both episodes of The Bachelorette, the contestants toast Ashley. Bentley’s glass looks to be different than the other contestants.’ Some claim he’s drinking water, others suggest it might be vodka. Neither are correct. The clear liquid is actually an elixir originating from Catarata Gocta, a waterfall in Peru. The elixir, which comes packaged in a velvet case, is said to contain special properties that adds luster to hair and makes skin more radiant. It’s definitely working, Bentley…

Bentley, helping Ashley find love

People tend to highly value things that they have suffered for. That’s because they have to be able to justify the effort they made to get them. It’s called “suffering-leads-to-liking”

From previews, it appears that Ashley’s Bachelorette experience will have some suffering because of Bentley. But in going through this ordeal, she will become more attached to whichever contestant she does ends up with. So stop giving Bentley a hard time. He’s actually helping her find love!

Plus, it’s not all suffering – she still gets to run her fingers through that luscious hair…

Taking Bentley’s hair out of the equation

We’ve seen on The Bachelorette how well the masked man’s strategy of covering up to “take his face out of the equation” has worked. Frankly, it’s a bit surprising that producers haven’t tried to do the same thing to Bentley. Wouldn’t it have been fairer to the other contestants to take Bentley’s hair out of the equation? They could have made him wear a funny wig or a hat. As it stands, it will be very difficult for the other contestants to shine in the presence of that hair. Are you kidding me? thick, wavy locks held up at impossible angles.
“I hope my hair looks ok…” No, Bentley, it doesn’t just look ok, it is intoxicating.

Interesting Trumps Likeability

People like to rag on Bentley. Apparently he doesn’t come across (on the show at least), as the most likeable guy in the world. But guess what, he’s mysterious, he’s intriguing, and you just get the sense that there is a lot more there and you want to know more. In short, he’s interesting. So people shouldn’t be annoyed or surprised that Ashley kept him around. If he’s interesting to us after a few minutes in front of the camera, he’s definitely interesting to her.

There are lots of people who may not come across as the most likeable people in the world – Trump, Lance Armstrong, Donald Rumsfeld. But these are all interesting people, they captivate us and hold our attention no matter what they are saying or doing. They matter.

You know who is not interesting? Contestants Chris M., Frank, Jon, and Rob. Likeable guys sure, but because interesting trumps likeability, they didn’t get a rose.

Prediction: “Bentley” name will skyrocket in popularity

In 2010, just over 100 in every million babies were named Bentley (0.01%).  That is surprising given how awesome the name is. It will be interesting to see this graph updated for the second half of 2011 and 2012. No doubt there will be a spike in popularity following this season on The Bachelorette.

Bentley under the Bus

Bachelorette host (Chris Harrison) with help from former contestant on the Bachelor (Michelle Money) felt the need to throw Bentley under the bus even before he stepped out of the limo to meet Ashley. We all know that Michelle is trying to promote her career as a professional reality TV star runner-up (or more likely, wants to Bentley all to herself) while Chris Harrison clearly has a ratings agenda (or more likely, got picked on by a Bentley look-alike in high school).

Now poor Bentley has to try to climb out of the hole they dug for him. But it all makes sense. Without these antics, the other Bachelorette contestants wouldn’t stand a fighting chance with Ashley or with viewers. Ultramarathons are lame, winemaking is for dilettantes, and speaking French (with an American accent) is très passé. Bentley just stands out so much more than the other guys. Looks, style, charm, wit, professional success, confidence. He’s his own man, and he’s interesting. He certainly holds our attention more than those other cardboard cutouts.

What does Bentley and his auto namesake have in common?

According to the manufacturer’s website, “Bentleys are built to be driven. Uncompromising luxury and enviable performance. Immediately recognisable and desired. The most prestigious driver’s cars in the world.”

Wow, that pretty much sums up contestant Bentley on The Bachelorette. How did his parents know? They could have called him Jaguar, Cadillac, or even BMW (Wait, what’s Bentley’s middle name? Maybe they named him after two luxury cars). But let’s not forget that like his namesake, Bentley isn’t for everyone. Just as some people may not understand why someone would pay $150,000 for a car, some viewers may not appreciate Bentley Williams’ unique qualities. Maybe it boils down to taste – some have it and some don’t.

Don’t be afraid to show your true colors…

At your next viewing party for The Bachelorette

Buy a Bentley Williams T-Shirt

Top 10 Reasons to Give Bentley a Rose:

10. Love means never having to say you’re sorry

9.  Frankly, my dear, Bentley don’t give a damn

8.  Bentley > Ames > Drunk Tim

7.  Say ‘hello’ to my little friend! (tickle my pickle?)

6.  Score: Batman -1, Bentley 1, Nice Guys 0

5.  Chris Harrison can suck it

4.  Emily is better!

3.  “Don’t go Bentley into that good night”

2.  Bentley would make a great dental assistant

1.  I’d drive a Bentley

Bentley Williams = a rugged David Beckham

Alright folks, whatever you think about the guy, Bentley Williams is incredibly good looking. While Ames and Nick may have the brains and the brawn, Bentley definitely has the looks. In fact, he could very well be the best looking contestant of all time. His looks call to mind those of a young David Beckham if Becks had played rugby instead of soccer and didn’t get those $1000 haircuts.

Chris Harrison can suck it

Apparently, Chris Harrison bad-mouthed Bentley to Ashley. Chris said of Bentley: “He reminds me of every bad guy in all the John Hughes movies. His name should be Blaine and he should drive a red Porsche or something…You didn’t even see how much I begged her to bag this guy right there one Night 1. She said I’m going with my gut and she gave the guy a rose.”

Really, Chris Harrison? You wanted Ashley to send Bentley, one of the few guys who made the first episode interesting, packing on the first night? Really? You don’t like good ratings, Chris Harrison? Really? Oh, is Chris Harrison marrying the guy or is Ashley? Give us a break.

What’s wrong with a little refreshing honesty?

In every episode of the show, contestants always gush over whoever happens to be the Bachelor or the Bachelorette. They are so smitten with him or her, and so worried that they will have their heart broken. This is total garbage. Bentley went on the show hoping the Bachelorette would be Emily Maynard, and went out on a limb to say so. Of course, it wasn’t Emily. Can’t a guy be candid without the villain music being played in the background every time the camera passes over him?

What are the “right reasons” to be on a reality dating show?

In the first episode of The Bachelorette, it was revealed that Ashley got a call about one of the contestants being on the show for “the wrong reasons.” We learned later that the contestant was Bentley Williams. According to the source, Bentley was not there to meet his soul mate, but rather to promote his business career. That’s hard to believe. Although it seems that contestants in some professions (professional wrestling) might benefit from the exposure being on The Bachelorette would create, it is less obvious what it would do for ‘a businessman.’ Heck, Bentley was a former Goldman Sachs banker for Pete’s sake. Does he really need the show to jump start his career? So if Bentley’s are the wrong reasons for being on The Bachelorette, what are the right reasons?  And don’t say it is to meet Mrs. Right…

Welcome Bentley Williams Fans

Welcome to Bentley Williams Apologists, a site dedicated to everything Bentley Williams.

“Original Bachelorette Footage Edited”—Exclusive Commentary from Bentley*