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Archive for the ‘Gossip Rags’ Category

More Proof that Ames is “Just a Visitor” on our Planet

July 8, 2011 4 comments

While our allegiance is to Bentley, we can’t help but like Ames. You could say we have developed an other-worldly fascination with him. Now that he’s a finalist in the Bachelorette, he’s finally starting to get the media attention he craves deserves.

According to the gossip rags: “Although billed on the show as a ‘portfolio manager,’ one of his exes says he never really has real jobs. “He doesn’t really work. He just gets degrees and travels around.”

Sounds pretty good to us. Why is this supposed to be a knock against him? Like the other guys resumes are so great. Would you rather have him cut hair, make appetizers, or sell phones at a kiosk? He’s simply sampling from our planet’s rich intellectual and cultural heritage. Contrary to what this report implies, portfolio management (read: managing your family’s fortune) is a totally legitimate profession for a 30-year old aspiring alien actor. Plus, portfolios can get seriously crazy if you don’t manage them properly.

The article goes on to say that Ames is a “lady killer.” He’s charming, intellectual and good-looking, but he uses those great assets to get whatever he wants from women.”

Ah, yeah, or he uses his synthetic pheromones and wide-eye vision to attract them (which appear to be second only to Bentley’s rustic charm and rugged good-looks at attracting Ashley). He certainly Ames to please in that outfit.

Jager Weatherby (and Wetpaint) can suck it, too. Bentley rocks!

June 27, 2011 4 comments

The Apologists have compiled a long list of ‘people who can suck it.’ Add another. Jager Weatherby (that has to be a stage name) on behalf of Wetpaint went on yet another tirade about Bentley. If your tirade is preceded by the tirade of old, bald guy who doesn’t even watch the show, you have a problem. Not surprisingly, she calls Bentley the” most hated Man in Bachelorette history” (where have we heard that before?) and says that people are growing tired of him.

She also calls the Apologists out:

 “There’s one group out there that won’t groan when he [Bentley] returns. Whenever we here at WetPaint say anything against Bentley, and believe me, he deserves it, we get VERY reactive comments by a group called the Bentley Williams Apologists. They defend the bad boy to such a loyal extent, we think they should just marry him themselves. Unless it’s just Bentley promoting himself, but that would just be weird. What do you think of bad news Bentley? Do you think he got a raw deal? Or does he deserve everything he got coming to him?”

Well Jager, we appreciate the shout out, but we think most of the points you make, well, they aren’t really points, are they? First off, we defend Bentley against unfair attacks by many groups – you’re nothing special. Wetpaint refers to itself as a “next-generation media company” (read: dumb website) whose stated purpose is to “delight 18-34 year old women.” Are we supposed to be impressed? The company description sounds like what Bentley does on a daily basis. Second, we appreciate your acknowledgment of our loyalty to Bentley and ask that you pass along our marriage proposal to him. Third, we are not Bentley as was clearly stated here; Bentley is under contract. Fourth, yes, we think Bentley got a raw deal, duh, and it should be obvious to any sane person who reads this blog. We also know that you got weak in the knees just reporting this story…

Did Bachelorette Ashley Sleep with Bentley? Hardly

June 24, 2011 5 comments

Given that we pride ourselves on being ‘in the know’ on all things Bentley, we admit to being completely caught off guard by some new accusations that have surfaced in recent days.  A highly reputable news outlet is reporting that Bentley hooked up with Ashley before he left the show.  Here are the details:

“Ashley slept with Bentley before he left the show,” [an unnamed, insider source told In Touch Magazine]. “That was the reason she was so devastated.” The source goes on to say that, “they kept the fact that they had sex a secret.”

Let’s examine this new accusation, shall we? Ok In Touch Magazine, So you are really going to go with the story that an anonymous source [couldn’t they at least give him/her a fake name?] told you that Bentley and Ashley hooked up? So we are really supposed to believe that somehow amidst 24 other Bachelorette contestants and rooms teaming with camera crews and equipment, Bentley and Ashley managed to steal away surreptitiously and be alone long enough to hook up. You’re really going to go with that story, In Touch Magazine, really?

So what’s the real story?

An obvious alternative explanation is that producers are attempting to sully Bentley’s pristine image by leaking more lies to the press. Even as far as gossip rags go, In Touch Magazine is among the lowest on the totem pole for credibility, which means the producers had trouble getting any others to take the bait.

Here at the Apologists, we believe another explanation is more likely. Everyone has noted Ashley’s surprisingly strong attachment, bordering on obsession with Bentley [we do condone Bentley obsession] after only a few moments together, and people are searching for ready explanations. Upon witnessing Ashley emerge from Bentley’s room [with flushed cheeks and hair tousled no doubt], the unnamed source simply made an inference about what had taken place. The Apologists contend that Ashley did not sleep with Bentley, but did run her hands through his hair, an action that has been known to produce many of the same effects. So we don’t blame you, unnamed source, for running and tattling on Bentley to a gossip rag. It was an honest mistake that could have happened to anyone.

Bachelorette Ashley: “I Feel So Betrayed.” No, We Feel So Betrayed!

June 10, 2011 4 comments

So Bachelorette Ashley made it on the cover of People Magazine this week. Not surprisingly, it’s an interview with her about being on the show, and we get to hear all about the Comedy Club roast and her insecurities. Also not surprisingly, the article relentlessly castigates Bentley, portraying him as the biggest jerk that has ever been on the show.

Some gems from the article:

  • “During the season’s first three episodes, he intentionally led her on, all the while giddily confessing in his one-on-one camera interviews that ‘I don’t care about Ashley at all.”
  • “Looking back months later, Ashley finds that what hurts most is learning of his deception.”
  • Producer Mike Fleiss, “We always try to tell an honest story.”
  • And the real kicker: “ABC declined to make Bentley available for an interview.”

Seriously People Magazine? You are supposed to be more ‘fair and balanced’ than those other gossip rags. Wonder if Ashley would have made it on your cover if ratings hadn’t spiked (thanks Bentley, for providing the drama) or if everyone didn’t feel so sorry for Ashley (thanks again Bentley, for being so darn irresistible to her).

So Ashley Feels So Betrayed by all this. You know who else feels betrayed?

Viewers:

They are deprived of seeing Bentley, by far the most interesting contestant, on the show for the rest of the season. Wondering if the show will be lame without him? Don’t. It will

Bentley fans:

We don’t get to see our guy, nor do we even get to hear his side of the story (“ABC declined to make Bentley available for an interview.”) Instead, we get to watch a bunch of mannequins, the big league chew guy, Glambert, Disney’s Hercules, a few celebrity look-a-likes, and the Geico Cavemen pretending to be romantic. It sounds almost as fun as going to the dentist. Can’t wait for next week!

Jimmy Kimmel – Arbiter of Decency and Paragon of Respecting Women

June 8, 2011 17 comments

In a video chat with Ashely, Jimmy Kimmel had the audacity to call Bentley “The Devil Incarnate” for his treatement of Ashley during the show. He then had his assistant beat Bentley with a bat.

Excerpt  –  Jimmy: “Bentley is the devil, that’s why he would want to do [those things[, he’s the devil incarnate. They say that Satan will come to us in handsome form [Bentley is handsome so that’s one thing Jimmy got right]. I don’t trust him at all, I think he might hate women. A woman named him Bentley so that’s a strike right here. I don’t know how he’s going to ever date again. I gues he’d have to find some sort of Amish soman who never had a television set. I don’t know where he goes from here. I guess that’s got to give you [Ashley] some consolation, doesn’t it?”

Gee Jimmy, thanks for sticking up for Ashley and defending women. America really appreciates your thoughtful critique of Bentley’s actions, and we look up to you as an arbiter of decency and a paragon of respecting women. It’s a good thing we have such a fine example as you of how to treat women. After all, you had that wonderful stint on “The Man Show” where you demonstrated to everyone how much class you have and how highly you value women. How is poor Bentley ever going to date again? Well, he’s good-looking and was a jerk for 10 minutes on TV, and you are ugly and have always been a jerk on TV. How’s your dating life?

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