Since Bentley’s departure, the Bachelorette is definitely getting a little old. Sometimes the show seems down right prehistoric. We are also having a hard time seeing exactly what Ashley’s “type” is. For the remaining contestants, she kept a dilettante alien, Ned Flanders, two short grizzled dudes, and the Geico cavemen. What, if anything, do these guys have in common (besides playing second fiddle to Bentley)?
While our allegiance is to Bentley, we can’t help but like Ames. You could say we have developed an other-worldly fascination with him. Now that he’s a finalist in the Bachelorette, he’s finally starting to get the media attention he craves deserves.
According to the gossip rags: “Although billed on the show as a ‘portfolio manager,’ one of his exes says he never really has real jobs. “He doesn’t really work. He just gets degrees and travels around.”
Sounds pretty good to us. Why is this supposed to be a knock against him? Like the other guys resumes are so great. Would you rather have him cut hair, make appetizers, or sell phones at a kiosk? He’s simply sampling from our planet’s rich intellectual and cultural heritage. Contrary to what this report implies, portfolio management (read: managing your family’s fortune) is a totally legitimate profession for a 30-year old aspiring alien actor. Plus, portfolios can get seriously crazy if you don’t manage them properly.
The article goes on to say that Ames is a “lady killer.” He’s charming, intellectual and good-looking, but he uses those great assets to get whatever he wants from women.”
Ah, yeah, or he uses his synthetic pheromones and wide-eye vision to attract them (which appear to be second only to Bentley’s rustic charm and rugged good-looks at attracting Ashley). He certainly Ames to please in that outfit.
Over the weekend we noticed another nationally televised competition that is quite similar to The Bachelorette. The 96th Annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest held on July 4th at Coney Island. The contest pits professional eaters against one another to consume as many hot dogs as they can in 10 minutes. The winner (who typically eats more than 60 hot dogs during the period) gets a mustard colored champion belt and $20,000.
While downing 60 greasy hot dogs and courting Ashley Herbert evoke similar feelings (both are likely to make you nauseous), we actually wanted to point out another similarity between the eating contest and the Bachelorette. This year Joey “Jaws” Chestnut won the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest after consuming 62 hot dogs in 10 minutes. The event played on ESPN and on televisions around the nation. But a much lesser publicized event was happening in the same city at the same time. Seven-time Champion and world record holder for eating hot dogs (among other things) Takeru “Tsunami” Kobayashi held an event on a roof top where he consumed 69 hotdogs in 10 minutes smashing Chestnut’s record. Consuming 7 more hotdogs is the eating contest equivalent of Kobayashi lapping Joey. Kobayashi was banned from the competition because he wouldn’t sign an exclusive contract with Major League Eating (yes, seriously, there is an organization trying to make eating a professional sport that wants to charge “athletes”). So Chestnut was crowned the wiener on national television by MLE president George Shea who would later call Kobayashi’s record a farce.
So what does this have to do with The Bachelorette? Just as the Nathan’s eating contest wants to find the greatest hot dog eater, The Bachelorette purports to find the best love match for Ashley. But both contests also want to make as much money as possible. So they end of squeezing more money out of the show and their contestants at the expense of “REALITY.” When Bentley was cast, Bachelorette producers were ecstatic about the ratings that would come from Bentley’s brutal honesty just as the Nathan’s contest organizers were ecstatic to have the iconic Kobyashi as their original hot dog eating champion. Yet Kobayashi and Bentley refused to play the game their handlers wanted them to play, and both of them walked. Now their respective contests are stuck trying to be the premier event while the champions sit on the sidelines. So who is the Joey Chestnut to the Bentley Kobayashi?
SPOILER ALERT (We think it’s a spoiler, but we don’t know for sure. Bentley fans believe it’s obvious given the Bentley rebound Ashley is on. Also, does it really matter to alert you when Bentley is gone?).
From what we understand, it’s the same guy who caught Ashley first off of the Bentley rebound (which she is still experiencing) – J.P. After seeing how hard Ashley fell for Bentley, it’s obvious that the love she feels for J.P. is a direct result of the Bentley rebound. At the end of the day, Joey and J.P. might get the coveted yellow belt and be crowned wieners on national television, those familiar with reality know who the real champions are: Bentley Williams and Takeru Kobayashi.
Before you make comments on this page, we want to identify that there are graphic analogies that could easily be made with a contest of consuming multiple wieners and the set up to The Bachelorette show—but we want to keep this site family friendly.
Originally we were inspired to start this site because, as Bentley fans, we didn’t think it was right that such an awesome Bachelorette contestant was getting villainized.We wanted to celebrate the man and defend his words and actions. We figured that no one would care since viewers are usually content to drink the Kool-Aid and accept everything Bachelorette producers foist upon them. But just over a month later, we are happy to report that we’re “All Grown Up.” Our site hit 100,000 views today as Bacholrette viewers were searching for any thing they could find on Bentley. While it may not seem like much for one day, we have significantly altered the Bentley conversation as now more people are starting to question the reality of the show and notice the douchebaggery of Chris Harrison. Moreover, given the timing of this event and demand for conversations about Bentley, we believe this shows how truly American being a Bentley fan is.
So where do the Apologists go from here? Bentley was our horse in the Bachelorette race, and even although he’s gone for good, we don’t plan to pick another one. Especially if we have that many fans of the site. Instead, we are going to act exactly like Ashley. For the rest of the season, we’re going to keep tabs on all the second fiddles [contestants still in the race who are clear second choices to Bentley], while still pining for Bentley and continuing to talk incessantly about him. Hope you’ll join us.
Say what you will about Bentley, the man knows how to attract an audience. With his swagger, charisma, and no-nonsense banter, Bentley has made this season of the Bachelorette one of the most interesting of all time. Perhaps the most remarkable thing is the extent of his impact on the show in such a short amount of time. The focus on Bentley has angered many and drawn viewers’ ire against producers. It has been implied that Bentley must be so good for Bachelorette ratings as to be well worth “messing with Ashley’s [and viewers’] head” while exploiting poor Bentley. Why else would the producers have spent so much effort editing his commentary, showing statements he made out of context, and demonizing him to viewers? But what is Bentley’s actual impact on the show.
To find out, we gathered TV ratings from Zap2It for the show and compiled them into a graph. The graph covers the last four weeks of the show including Bentley’s departure (episode 3), The Bentley Hangover where Ashley talked about him incessantly (episode 4), Bentley’s full absence from the show (episode 5), and King Bentley’s triumphant return (episode 6). As you can plainly see, Bentley’s full absence constituted the show’s nadir during the period [despite the shameless attempt to attract viewers with shirtless Bachelorette contestants engaged in Muay Thai fighting for Ashley’s affection]. Moreover, we see a massive spike in viewers when he returns to the show. That’s right; Bentley’s 5 minutes back on camera led to an increase of roughly half a million viewers. That’s an extra 100,000 viewers for every minute on the show. Are you listening ABC and Chris Harrison? Do you really think nice guys JP or Ben F. can generate that kind of viewer interest? It’s an understatement to say that “Bentley is good for ratings.” Bentley is ratings!
Lots of people are aware that Bentley has completely taken over this season of the Bachelorette. Some viewers [including Chris Harrison] are exasperated by this turn of events and believe it could have been avoided. Other viewers are excited by it and have come to accept that Bentley’s charms are unavoidable [Apologists]. More than a few pundits have suggested that we start referring to the show as The Bentley-orette [ok, we’d be glad to].
On this week’s episode, Ashley finally spills the beans to the other guys about her feelings for Bentley. It doesn’t quite go as planned. While some of the guys take the news well, most are furious about having to play second fiddle to a guy that left the show several weeks prior [simply awesome]. The dentist and the chef are especially upset, and Glambert – always the drama queen – gets so pissed that he storms off the set and leaves the show. This is simply unbelievable. Bentley, a contestant that was on the show for only two weeks, manages to capture the heart of the Bachelorette, pushes one of the best looking guys to leave the show early, and completely shatters the confidence of the remaining contestants. Beautiful Bentley truly is a one-man show wrecker.
There have been some big lies in TV history. But Chris Harrison’s recent revelation regarding Bentley is definitely right up there with “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” and, “Someone hacked my Twitter account.” Harrison claims that Bentley’s antics on the show almost forced production to shut down. Here’s Harrison’s full statement (note that it is preceded by another lie, almost as egregious – that Bentley was not put on the show to elicit drama):
“We didn’t put this guy in there to draw out drama. People give us too much credit. This doesn’t turn out to be a good thing for us or Ashley. We almost had to shut down production. If it was two or three weeks later, we probably wouldn’t have finished. This makes her question everything – the rest of the guys, herself, if this was worth it. It was really rough for us to get her back on track. Ashley definitely has a hard time moving passed this. It will haunt her and play a major role the rest of the show. She [became] a different person – a crestfallen, vulnerable little girl.
Seriously, Chris Harrison? You really expect us to believe there was some sort of huge meltdown because Bentley made a few comments during his ITM interviews? “We almost had to shut down production.” Well, maybe you should have! After all, viewers probably would have preferred it if you packed up and called it a day, especially after the only reason for watching the Bachelorette walked off the set. We already know that Ashley was in love with Bentley. Which second choice contestants are we supposed to get excited about now? The return of Bentley this week can’t come soon enough. Please, please, please grace us with your presence Bentley, even if only for a few minutes. Monday nights just aren’t the same since you’ve gone away…