Bentley Joins Blankfein as Goldman Chief

The Apologists have been critical of some people’s claims that Bentley went on The Bachelorette for “the wrong reasons.” However, it seems as if the stories about him going on show to promote his business career may actually have had some merit. In an upcoming press release, the prestigious investment bank is slated to announce the promotion of Bentley Williams to co-CEO. It is widely believed that he is being groomed to eventually lead the  bank, which has struggled to shake its negative image in the wake of the financial crisis. According to current CEO, Lloyd Blankfein, “I am honored to share the CEO title with Bentley. The guy really showed us what he’s made of on The Bachelorette. He’s a sharp dresser and one of the few people with better hair than me.” Although we totally have egg on our face, we are so excited for Bentley. It’s so great that the producers picked you for this reality show so you can promote your business career at Goldman Sachs. If you can’t give Ashley your heart, maybe you can at least give her a great deal on some mortgage-backed securities.