Home > The Realty of Dating > The Soft Dump: Bentley’s Forte

The Soft Dump: Bentley’s Forte

We Apologists find ourselves frequently responding to comments with what should be common knowledge. The viewers with a naïve take on relationships are upset with Bentley lying to Ashley (all the time), but especially when he lied about why he was leaving the show.  People have said, “Bentley should have told the truth about why he was leaving” and they had a problem with him saying, “Let’s not call it a period.  Let’s call it dot dot dot.’ was totally uncalled for.”

The apologists have pity for people that make these sorts of comments (and who are about to read this post).  They have likely been on the receiving end of a lie that bookended their relationship.  As all smart, cool, and incredibly good-looking people know, everyone lies when they dump someone. It’s called a “soft dump,” and it’s actually one of the few aspects of reality that The Bachelorette has managed to capture. Yes, Bentley did lie instead of telling Ashley the truth, but he did this for the same reason that all smart, cool, and incredibly good-looking people do—so that we don’t have to deal with all your drama.

People lie when they know they are going to rip someone’s heart out.  Seinfeld has made millions on this “soft dump” concept. For those of you that have never been dumped, this will be a great educational tool for you.  Get the Seinfeld seasons and follow the core plots of nearly every episode where Jerry finds a reason to dump someone.  Whether it was a two faced girl, Annoying Laugh, Man Hands, or talking belly button—Jerry made millions on the humor behind the reality of the “soft dump”.  People dump people and don’t ever tell them why.

Several of you are just now realizing you may have been soft dumped when your last boyfriend said, “It’s not you, it’s me.” The truth he did not tell you was, “It’s totally you, and I just realized ‘you’re personality does not make up for your looks.’”  Or when he said, “Can we still be friends?”  What he meant was, “I don’t want to hang out with you, but please don’t be a stalker and try and kill me. You give me that vibe.” People have dumped you because you are annoying, overweight, underweight, unattractive or some combination or derivative thereof.  Furthermore, they probably lied and soft dumped you to avoid hurting you.

The very nature of the soft dump leaves open the opportunity for the future (even though there never is a future). Alternatively to “dot dot dot” Bentley could have just said, “I’m not digging you.” But this never happens in reality. Bentley is the real deal, raw, and unedited (well, probably heavily edited but you get the picture). We dig him.

  1. June 12, 2011 at 9:35 am

    Totally true!

  2. Anonymous
    June 12, 2011 at 2:13 pm

    ***** ***** is the author behind this and believe me when I say this (dot dot dot dot dot) he has NO idea how goodlooking people feel or act, for he is not goodlooking himself! He’s always been one of those guys that like to ride on all of his “goodlooking” friends coat-tail for he never got the attention that they did! For example, instead of going out and showing his supposed “awesome” goodlooks, he has been sitting in front of his computers for hours on end trying to acheive the attention that Bentley is getting! ***** you haven’t and nor will you ever measure up to Bentley! You need to take down the Bentley posters and get on with your life! When you realize this, your life will be more prosperous!

    • Anonymous
      June 12, 2011 at 2:15 pm

      HAHAHAHA! That’s hysterical!!!! Nice job Anonymous!!!!

    • Anonymous
      June 12, 2011 at 2:40 pm

      I believe that the only “soft dump” this guy knows about is the one that comes out of his butt !!!

    • Anonymous
      June 12, 2011 at 3:12 pm

      Bravo.. well said. Does he live at his parents house in the basement?

    • June 12, 2011 at 4:34 pm

      Look “Anonymous” goons, we are talking about Bentley. I guess you have run out of material on Bentley and are now grabbing at anything. Quite sure if this was someone that knew Bentley writing this Blog, they would want to legitimize the Blog as having first hand experience with Bentley. We don’t have this experience. We just experience looking at his hair every week on TV and now that has been taken away from us.

      • Ceara
        June 12, 2011 at 5:38 pm

        Truth hurt #######???? LOL You’re the Goon with nothing to do in your life than post blogs about someone’s hair! HAHAHAHA!!!

    • June 12, 2011 at 9:03 pm

      It sounds like you something personal against this boy you think that is responding and is behind the blog. Give him a call, and work out what ever issues you have with him. I think both of you will be much happier in life.

  3. Ceara
    June 12, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    This author has issues! It’s not hard to see that! Who would want to make money selling t-shirts about his friend in order to gain money and not care how it affects his friend? Most definitely not a true friend! He should really seek some help!!!

    • June 12, 2011 at 9:05 pm

      This site is about worshiping Bentley’s hair, not selling shirts. We take our reality TV seriously!

  4. BentleyRocks
    June 12, 2011 at 5:46 pm

    This must be is why he said,”I’ve got to poop this out.”. Apologists I love your blog. Ignore these posts by ugly people, they just want somone to blame for being alone.

  5. shell
    June 12, 2011 at 6:37 pm

    Bentley is arrogant. He is not all that good looking. His hair is weird. He has no clothes sense. And he’s full of himself. I would not give him a second glance. He’s also got a snot nose rug ape [ kid ] which makes him a BAD risk as far as a husband. So even if I liked his personality & looks and his clothes, the snot nose kid would be a deal breaker for me. Many other smart women feel the same as I do. I would not date or marry a man with a kid.

    • seriously?!
      June 13, 2011 at 6:51 pm

      Are you seriously bad mouthing an innocent child? What is wrong with people?!

      • Me
        June 14, 2011 at 1:13 am

        Completely AGREE !!!! Shell is obviously a gold-digging, shallow, insecure ****!!!! And I RARELY ever use that word!!!!

      • cupcake
        June 14, 2011 at 1:40 am

        shell, fortunately smart men don’t want a girl like you with ****** attitude.

        • Me
          June 14, 2011 at 2:58 am

          I just can’t believe she refers to herself as “smart!” UGH!!!!! Shell- I REALLY don’t like you!!! Can someone please take her comment down?!?!?!?!

  6. bentley fan
    June 12, 2011 at 8:34 pm

    this is a great post. seinfeld is a classic and by the looks of it bentley is too. We need more bentleys and seinfelds back in tv…

  7. shell
    June 13, 2011 at 1:48 am

    hey – wasn’t there a time when they actually said bachelors were “hand picked” or “screened” just for the
    particular bachelorette…?
    that is not what they did for poor insecure Ashley. She got that dooshwad-Bentley – that finds her type unappealing. that is just simply awful.
    My guess is they could have found MANY guys that would really just love Ashley’s type…but no they did not even try….

  8. Michelle
    June 13, 2011 at 5:50 am

    DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT compare this fool to David Beckham!!!! Noooooo similarities whatsoever!

    • andi
      June 14, 2011 at 1:43 am

      agree, Beckham speaks like a girl.

  9. Jake
    June 13, 2011 at 11:38 am

    You’re right, David Beckam is a bit more of a slime ball than Bentley. Beckam did cheat on his wife. Bentley is way better.

  10. Angie
    June 14, 2011 at 6:02 am

    Ok, just curious– the writers of the blog now claim not to know Bentley? Huh? So you became fans before you even saw the show? I’m a bit confused, as I found this blog right after the first show aired.

    Anyway, only cowards try the “soft dump”. Seinfeld was funny not because he was showing the way that things should be but what we all secretly hate in ourselves and others. As a real woman, I often told guys that I just wasn’t that into them. And NO, it wasn’t them– for every Jack there is a Jill– it was me not being their Jill. Only told self-centered Narcissists think that it is the problem with the other person, as if their list is THE list. Ah, lame guys!

    • June 14, 2011 at 1:31 pm

      Angie, you need to double check your google analytics.

      Again, as we said in the blog we do have pity for you having to find out about the “soft dump” on the Apologists site.

      • allison
        June 24, 2011 at 5:18 am

        “We lie to you so we don’t have to deal with all your drama.” Wow the author of this sounds almost as narcissistic as the man himself. Suspicious… Believe it or not, it takes a lot of courage to be open with someone who (for whatever reason?)) has come to trust and care for you, and most people simply do not possess this courage. As for attempting to avoid drama, believe it or not Ashley would have gotten over the situation must quicker if Bentley had just told her the truth when he had the chance. He wouldn’t have ended up coming back in episode 7, or whatever. HOnestly, though whoever’s writing this is having some fun because everything he/she writes is completely outrageous. Judging from the comments on here, your mission is not succeeding. Why do you keep on?

        • June 24, 2011 at 12:16 pm

          Well the mission actually is. ABC has been getting backlash for the show. Mainly because of how they make Ashley and Bentley look together.

          Yes Allison, people lie about dumping others. BUT if you look at our “EDITING” post you will see that BENTLEY WAS NOT EVEN lying about leaving for his daughter.

          THE STATEMENT WAS CREATED BY EDITING. Check it out, it’s some cool stuff.

  11. Me
    June 14, 2011 at 12:03 pm


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