Archive
Jumping The Shark—Life After Bentley
On the fifth season of Happy Days, the show’s audience had begun to decline. The Happy Days Producers made efforts to revive interest in the show and decided to have the ultimate king of cool “Fonzie” waterski jump over a confined shark. It was this episode that inspired the Hollywood phrase “Jumping the shark”, an idiom meaning “the series has lost what made it attractive.”
The now defunct website jumptheshark.com explained the concept as follows: “It’s a moment. A defining moment when you know that your favorite television program has reached its peak. That instant that you know from now on…it’s all downhill. Some call it the climax. We call it ‘Jumping the Shark.’ From that moment on, the program will simply never be the same.”
With Bentley leaving the Bachelorette, the show has jumped the shark. The producers have been locked in to selecting Bachelors and Bachelorettes from previous series so audiences can connect better with the main contestant. Unfortunately, after making Ashley look insecure and ignorant and having Bentley and other contestants look like villains—no contestant worth watching wants to be on the show. ABC now is known for trashing contestants and lying to audiences to get ratings. The series is scraping the bottom of the barrel of people willing to be on the show (Brad Womack was on it twice?!). The show has now ended up with an emotional insecure girl that is every man’s worst nightmare. As the show continues to select from this low quality pool of single contestants willing to sign away their life the show is now on decline. Bentley was the shows pinnacle of drama and entertainment. We might have just witnessed a new idiom for reality tv similar to Jumping The Shark—Casting Bentley.
Ashley Finally Gets Her Period
During episode 4 we see how attached to Bentley Ashley still is (5 weeks into the show and 2 group dates with Bentley). In a last ditch effort, Bachelorette producers edited NEW COMMENTS into prior footage. Without question the 5th episode of the Bachelorette was anything but reality. What are we talking about? The Apologists will walk you through it.
The producers convinced Bentley to fly to Hong Kong instead of calling because they wanted more live Bentley drama. Bentley came out and essentially said, “I kind of like you, but if I’m at home and you are here to find love, the fact that I am home should signal our relationship status.” (Keep in mind we are only privy to a few seconds of what was likely an hour-long conversation, which is the shortest the producers would need to be able to edit).
While there was clearly more to the conversation that we don’t see, we can probably assume that what we did see was the worst of it.Didn’t Ashley’s response seem a bit extreme given how much information SHE had (not what the viewers had) going into the reunion with Bentley? She has been pining for him from the moment he left, and now she’s telling him off and cussing at him? We agree with Reality Steve’s conclusion that the remainder of this monologue was shot long after Hong Kong and was not in the moment. This was the producers trying to save Ashley from further ridicule for being the worst bachelorette.
In his blog today, Chris Harrison tried to connect the dots and reduce viewer confusion. He did his best to “give Ashley the ammunition she needed for her encounter with Bentley.” We’re not buying this. If Ashley was so loaded up with ammo, why did she greet Bentley with a hug and a kiss when she saw him? It was definitely not an F***-you-I-know-that-you-played-me-because-Chris-Harrison-told-me kiss. Rather, it was an ‘I missed you’ hug and kiss.
Ashley’s tone also suddenly changes at the beginning with Bentley. “Why did you come all the way out here?” Ashley, you asked the producers to bring Bentley back—he is here because you asked for him. The producers got Bentley to fly out instead of calling because they wanted more drama. The interaction is a bit choppy at this point. The “I’m not fishing” dialog seems to be new video and audio footage as it includes no response or interaction with Bentley recognizing her comments directly and seems very unnatural. Sure Bentley could have been confounded by her, but keep in mind that this is Ashley we are talking about. We believe producers reshot the footage and edited Bentley into it to legitimize Ashley to viewers who can’t stand her as the Bachelorette.
All the comments that make her appear strong (which everyone knows she is not), they all have different lighting on her face. Her hair is also noticeably different between shots. Also notice that we don’t really get to see their goodbye. It probably would have been some seriously awkward footage of her leaving. Why don’t we see her confidently getting up from the couch and leaving after telling him off? That would have been great, except it did not happen.
Because the entire Bentley “tell-off” was staged AFTER THE SHOW ENDED. They got Ashley to wear the same clothes possibly even go to the same hotel and reshot her (supposedly) telling Bentley off. But they could not get it perfect, and if you watch the video and keep in mind the social context of the relationship—it’s clear as day that the “you should have called” dialog was put in.
Realizing that they made their heroine Ashley look like a fool, producers tried to salvage what they could. A weak indecisive bachelorette makes for a bad show. The producers realize that this is the most bizarre season in the history of the Bachelorette and are trying to edit their way to fixing it. When Chris Harrison says they almost shut down production, he may have been telling the truth.
Bentley the Show Wrecker: Glambert McLean Checks Out
Lots of people are aware that Bentley has completely taken over this season of the Bachelorette. Some viewers [including Chris Harrison] are exasperated by this turn of events and believe it could have been avoided. Other viewers are excited by it and have come to accept that Bentley’s charms are unavoidable [Apologists]. More than a few pundits have suggested that we start referring to the show as The Bentley-orette [ok, we’d be glad to].
On this week’s episode, Ashley finally spills the beans to the other guys about her feelings for Bentley. It doesn’t quite go as planned. While some of the guys take the news well, most are 
furious about having to play second fiddle to a guy that left the show several weeks prior [simply awesome]. The dentist and the chef are especially upset, and Glambert – always the drama queen – gets so pissed that he storms off the set and leaves the show. This is simply unbelievable. Bentley, a contestant that was on the show for only two weeks, manages to capture the heart of the Bachelorette, pushes one of the best looking guys to leave the show early, and completely shatters the confidence of the remaining contestants. Beautiful Bentley truly is a one-man show wrecker.
Team Bentley Keeps on Growing…Big League Chew and Nick Join Up
Well, well, well. It looks like the producers failed again to keep a lid on the truth about Bentley’s genuine decency. On this blog we’ve documented the nefarious practices of the producers at length: from egregiously editing footage to calling Bentley the “worst” contestent ever to preventing Bentley from speaking out in his own defense.
But so far, everyone that actually knows Bentley has nothing but great things to say about him. Big League Chew guy, also known as Ben Castoriano, said that Bentley
seemed like a decent guy. No one had any major issue, I don’t think, with Bentley. He didn’t really make any trouble with anybody.
He further added that he takes what he sees on the television “with a grain of salt.” (Sounds like he knows about the producers’ callous disregard of the truth just as we do.)
But that’s not all.
Nick Peterson also said:
But, I liked all the guys in the house I had no problems with the guys in the house including Bentley. As far as we knew he was a nice guy missed his daughter and wanted to leave.
Sounds like those who know Bentley best (and we’ve said this before), have nothing but the best to say of him.
Team Bentley Gains Another Adoring Fan
Many of you will remember a couple of weeks ago when we had to come to Bentley’s defense agains threats of malicious violence. Jenna Kim Jones (possibly respected comic), intimated that she was traveling all the way from New York City to Salt Lake City to punch Bentley in the face. In fact, she even admitted that she is “a violent hater.” She was expressly unrepentant of her violent ways.
But now all of that has changed. In one of her latest tweets (apparently her chosen form of communication with the outside world, whatever this says about her), she writes:
The Bachelorette keeps getting dumped. Here’s hoping Bentley comes back for a 3rd round. I have to sleep now. Goodnight.
That sounds like a clear endorsement of Bentley to us. From unjustified violence to unabashed appreciation — Jenna Kim Jones, welcome to the side of enlightenment and truth. Welcome to Team Bentley.
Bentley Knows What Women Want (and it’s not relationship platitudes)
Bentley’s impact on the Bachelor/Bachelorette series has never been seen before on a reality show. With what amounts to roughly 3 hours of courtship time (on group dates no less), he managed to capture the heart and mind of Ashley and America. He has been called “the most beguiling contestant to ever grace reality TV” and “the most important cultural icon of our generation.” As the main focus of the last 5 episodes, numerous gossip rags, and every water cooler conversation about the show, Bentley has led people to ask—how did this happen? How did Bentley gain the adoration of Ashley and, at the same time, attract the unmitigated hatred of viewers and pundits everywhere? While we don’t know the exact science, we do have an idea. There are four basic types of conversations we see Bentley have on the show.
1. Bentley talking off screen about his interest in Ashley. As discussed by the Apologists, the worst of which were clear hack jobs that should enrage ABC quality control editing group more than viewers and pundits.
2. Bentley talking to the other contestants (all of whom have nothing bad to say about him).
3. Bentley comforting Ashley. The other contestants ignored her tears while Bentley came to her comfort.
4. Bentley talking about his daughter. From the first conversation they shared to the last, the focus was on his daughter. Through sloppy and unethical editing, Bentley was villainized, yet the other men in the house universally agreed that Bentley had a one track mind in every conversation. He simply could not stop talking about his love for his daughter.
In almost every interaction on the show, we see Bentley focused on someone else, which is refreshing for viewers. There never seems to be a shortage of self-absorbed single Bachelors and Bachelorettes with proud smirks as they fill their date conversations with relationship platitudes. “I just want to be with”… “My perfect relationship is”…”I have an important job.” This is what makes Bentley so irresistible to Ashley. Sure some men talked about hardships in their life, but it was a conversation that was still self-focused. Bentley’s conversations consisted of comforting Ashley and talking about his daughter. So what can we learn from the Bentley/Ashley scenario? How about this: Men of America, when it comes to women, forget about yourselves. It’s easy to be self-absorbed when you are a single adult (Brad Womack and Jason Mesnick), but if you can resist that urge, you become all the more attractive.
Clearly there are additional factors we are purposely setting aside (e.g., Bentley’s pheromones are currently being studied by Johns Hopkins and Axe Laboratories). But for our purpose, a loud and clear message emerges: For individuals eager to find love, forget yourself and focus on others! Thanks, Bentley. We owe you one.
Countdown to the Return of the King (Bentley’s Back)
Everyone has been counting down the days until Bentley’s return. Producers might have considered having Ashley call Bentley to resolve these concerns, but where’s the drama in that? No, we need to fly The King across the world so that Ashley can say her final goodbye to his amazing hair. In honor of this event we have issued commemorative “Return of the King” and “Team Bentley” shirts (all proceeds go to support Bentley’s post-Bachelorette dates).
Hold on to your remotes friends and fellow Apologists, here comes another Bachelorette episode all about Bentley Williams.
William or Bentley as Bachelorette Villain? – The Debate Viewers didn’t See
Bentley loyalists realized that Hollywood was not giving viewers the full story with Bentley, casting him as a villain on the show. What most viewers probably aren’t aware of was the debate that took place before the show even aired – the debate among Bachelorette producers over who would be “cast” as this season’s villain. We at the Apologists got our hands on corporate documents that clearly reveal the producer’s intentions to cast William Holman, not Bentley as the villain. So what happened?
Bachelorette producers knew early on that Bentley had done well with Ashley. Hoping that a love interest would spark, they encouraged him to stay for two weeks. But it didn’t take, and Bentley left the show. Up to that point, producers planned on making William the villain. His impersonations annoyed other cast members, his wanted to use the show to launch a comedic career, he publicly trashed Ashley during the roast, and he threw Big League Chew under the bus. William had all the makings of a perfect Bachelorette villain.
But the producers had a problem. Bentley was Ashley’s top pick, and she could not move forward with the other guys. To keep the contestants and Ashley interested, many of the dates were planned abroad, in exotic locales. This ploy did not work as we are now watching the 5th episode with 
Bentley as the main narrative. Ashley’s genuine interest in Bentley forced the producers’ hands, and they had to bring him back.
The debate was clear—Bentley had to be the new villain for his lack of interest in the girl producers chose for the show, but what to do about William? Should there be two villains or would that make the producers look like they had set Ashley up to fail? The producers decided to save William and burn Bentley. The major amount of editing that was required to do this would eventually confuse audiences. How could Ashley and all the contestants like a guy as bad as Bentley? Answer: He must not be that bad…
Jager Weatherby (and Wetpaint) can suck it, too. Bentley rocks!
The Apologists have compiled a long list of ‘people who can suck it.’ Add another. Jager Weatherby (that has to be a stage name) on behalf of Wetpaint went on yet another tirade about Bentley. If your tirade is preceded by the tirade of old, bald guy who doesn’t even watch the show, you have a problem. Not surprisingly, she calls Bentley the” most hated Man in Bachelorette history” (where have we heard that before?) and says that people are growing tired of him.
She also calls the Apologists out:
“There’s one group out there that won’t groan when he [Bentley] returns. Whenever we here at WetPaint say anything against Bentley, and believe me, he deserves it, we get VERY reactive comments by a group called the Bentley Williams Apologists. They defend the bad boy to such a loyal extent, we think they should just marry him themselves. Unless it’s just Bentley promoting himself, but that would just be weird. What do you think of bad news Bentley? Do you think he got a raw deal? Or does he deserve everything he got coming to him?”
Well Jager, we appreciate the shout out, but we think most of the points you make, well, they aren’t really points, are they? First off, we defend Bentley against unfair attacks by many groups – you’re nothing special. Wetpaint refers to itself as a “next-generation media company” (read: dumb website) whose stated purpose is to “delight 18-34 year old women.” Are we supposed to be impressed? The company description sounds like what Bentley does on a daily basis. Second, we appreciate your acknowledgment of our loyalty to Bentley and ask that you pass along our marriage proposal to him. Third, we are not Bentley as was clearly stated here; Bentley is under contract. Fourth, yes, we think Bentley got a raw deal, duh, and it should be obvious to any sane person who reads this blog. We also know that you got weak in the knees just reporting this story…
“I’m gonna kill that mofo” – latest threat of violence against Bentley
We have noted that the producer’s characterization of Bentley has put him in a precarious position. Among those who have already threatened Bentley with violence are Jenna Kim Jones (punch him in the face), Jimmy Kimmel (beat him with a baseball bat), a bunch of anonymous posters on Internet chat boards (you name it, they’ve threatened it), and some crazy guy who wants to kick him between the legs.
Add Larry David, creator of Seinfeld and star of Curb Your Enthusiasm, to that list. During Ashley’s recent appearance on Jay Leno, David jumped to her defense saying, “I’m gonna kill that mofo” about Bentley. He added, “I don’t know what this guy did, but I really dislike him.” The Apologists are pacifists, and we do not condone any sort of violence [including Muay Thai Boxing]. But what we find scary is that someone actually threatened to murder Bentley on national TV. Even more disturbing, the comment elicited laughs from the audience. Come on, people! This is a contestant on a reality TV show who lasted 2.5 episodes. Does Bentley really deserve such unmitigated hatred?
And the truth shall set you free… Another contestant speaks glowingly of Bentley
Well, well, well. It looks as if the malicious blockade of lies and deceit that the producers of the Bachelorette have used to vilify Bentley is starting to come apart. In an interview with Reality TV World, William Holman opened up about the show and about the other contestants. He had plenty of interesting things to share, especially about other contestants. Given what Chris Harrison has said about Bentley, you would expect to hear all sorts of terrible things about Bentley.
But no. No comments about Bentley being selfish, or mean, or derogatory, or sacrificing cats in the basement, or whatever it is that the producers think is so awful about Bentley. In fact, William said the following:
I actually roomed with his in the house, and nobody had anything bad to say about Bentley. Whenever I talked to Bentley, we would always talk about his daughter and that’s all that was discussed. He never opened up and said the things that we heard on TV. He discussed that he was upset that it was Ashley, but there was never any of that kind of talk.
Let’s read that again. ”He never opened up and said the things that we heard on TV.” Isn’t that interesting? Sounds like further proof that the producers have been heavily editing the audio on the Bachelorette to make it more sensational, and to turn the public against Bentley.
In fact, it sounds like Bentley may actually be a good guy — something we’ve been arguing for a long time here on Bentley Apologists.
All we can say is that Bentley has been judged by his peers . . . and comes out with all the class, sophistication, and decency we knew he had all along.
Did Bachelorette Ashley Sleep with Bentley? Hardly
Given that we pride ourselves on being ‘in the know’ on all things Bentley, we admit to being completely caught off guard by some new accusations that have surfaced in recent days. A highly reputable news outlet is reporting that Bentley hooked up with Ashley before he left the show. Here are the details:
“Ashley slept with Bentley before he left the show,” [an unnamed, insider source told In Touch Magazine]. “That was the reason she was so devastated.” The source goes on to say that, “they kept the fact that they had sex a secret.”
Let’s examine this new accusation, shall we? Ok In Touch Magazine, So you are really going to go with the story that an anonymous source [couldn’t they at least give him/her a fake name?] told you that Bentley and Ashley hooked up? So we are really supposed to believe that somehow amidst 24 other Bachelorette contestants and rooms teaming with camera crews and equipment, Bentley and Ashley managed to steal away surreptitiously and be alone long enough to hook up. You’re really going to go with that story, In Touch Magazine, really?
So what’s the real story?
An obvious alternative explanation is that producers are attempting to sully Bentley’s pristine image by leaking more lies to the press. Even as far as gossip rags go, In Touch Magazine is among the lowest on the totem pole for credibility, which means the producers had trouble getting any others to take the bait.
Here at the Apologists, we believe another explanation is more likely. Everyone has noted Ashley’s surprisingly strong attachment, bordering on obsession with Bentley [we do condone Bentley obsession] after only a few moments together, and people are searching for ready explanations. Upon witnessing Ashley emerge from Bentley’s room [with flushed cheeks and hair tousled no doubt], the unnamed source simply made an inference about what had taken place. The Apologists contend that Ashley did not sleep with Bentley, but did run her hands through his hair, an action that has been known to produce many of the same effects. So we don’t blame you, unnamed source, for running and tattling on Bentley to a gossip rag. It was an honest mistake that could have happened to anyone.
Who to hate? Bentley vs. Producers
Question everyone asks is, “Why is Ashley falling for Bentley?” In our earliest posts, Apologists contend that Bentley’s aloofness, mystique or his hair is what is driving Ashley. Since these early posts we have learned a few more things:
1) Bentley’s comments were frequently completely fabricated by producers
2) Not one contestant that was with Bentley has thrown him under the bus.
Anyone that has watched the show prior to this season has seen the manipulative editing (especially in previews) to hook you into watching the next week’s episode. With this recent information, Bentley Apologists contend that Ashley fell for Bentley… BECAUSE HE IS A GOOD GUY! He gave her two dates and called it quits (not uncommon for relationships). Ashley is a smart girl; she’s in dental school at Penn.
So who is really to blame and who has the most to gain?… The producers. This is why Bentley is coming back. Bentley clearly does not want to be there, he wants out. The producers bring him back because they realize they need something as a stop gap for losing all their viewers. So in this post we provide the names and twitter accounts of those who should be held accountable.
If you’re mad about Bentley (from his comments being edited or because you despise his existence) don’t blame him. Bentley left the show, blame the producers that brought him on knowing he was not interested and also decide to bring him back for more drama (Bentley was a rating’s machine for them!). These are the producers, let them know what you think.
elan g @theyearofelan
Cassie Lambert @cassielambert
Mike Fleiss @fleissmeister
Peter Scalettar twitter @peterjscalettar
Robert Mills @Millsy11374
The Heartbreaker — The Key to Bentley’s Appearance on the Bachelorette
We had the misfortune to stumble across a French movie the other day called The Heartbreaker. Lucky for us, it wasn’t about postcards from a traveling gnome, but it was still French. Here’s the premise of the movie: there’s a guy who’s specialty is breaking up relationships that are doomed to fail. Basically, people hire him to break up budding romances and marriages that threaten the happiness of one or both of the people involved. There really isn’t much more to say than that. There are the usual comedic supporting cast, the typical French snobbery, and the amazing lush vistas. But, the movie didn’t star Bentley, or even refer to him, or have him as a cameo.
Or did it?
Let’s review the movie. Charming, sophisticated, incredibly good-looking male lead whose forte is breaking up doomed relationships. It just so happens that this character is also a snappy dresser and sports just the right kind of tousled hair. And, we should add, very charismatic. Starting to sound familiar? Yep, it’s Bentley alright. This movie obviously had Bentley in mind.
In fact, we think Bentley’s whole appearance on The Bachelorette is starting to make more sense. He and Ashley may or may not find love together (her loss if they don’t), but what Bentley is really doing, the real blessing that he’s providing to Ashley, is showing her what a waste any of the other guys would be. He is the Heartbreaker. Bentley is there to help Ashley, to open her eyes (and her heart).
Looking at it this way, it’s clear that what Bentley is doing on the Bachelorette is one of the most selfless things we have ever witnessed on reality tv.
Ashley, you owe Bentley an apology.
“We almost had to shut down production” – maybe you should have!
There have been some big lies in TV history. But Chris Harrison’s recent revelation regarding Bentley is definitely right up there with “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” and, “Someone hacked my Twitter account.” Harrison claims that Bentley’s antics on the show almost forced production to shut down. Here’s Harrison’s full statement (note that it is preceded by another lie, almost as egregious – that Bentley was not put on the show to elicit drama):
“We didn’t put this guy in there to draw out drama. People give us too much credit. This doesn’t turn out to be a good thing for us or Ashley. We almost had to shut down production. If it was two or three weeks later, we probably wouldn’t have finished. This makes her question everything – the rest of the guys, herself, if this was worth it. It was really rough for us to get her back on track. Ashley definitely has a hard time moving passed this. It will haunt her and play a major role the rest of the show. She [became] a different person – a crestfallen, vulnerable little girl.
Seriously, Chris Harrison? You really expect us to believe there was some sort of huge meltdown because Bentley made a few comments during his ITM interviews? “We almost had to shut down production.” Well, maybe you should have! After all, viewers probably would have preferred it if you packed up and called it a day, especially after the only reason for watching the Bachelorette walked off the set. We already know that Ashley was in love with Bentley. Which second choice contestants are we supposed to get excited about now? The return of Bentley this week can’t come soon enough. Please, please, please grace us with your presence Bentley, even if only for a few minutes. Monday nights just aren’t the same since you’ve gone away…
ABC Finally Embracing Diversity
Here at the Apologists, we generally don’t have many nice things to say about ABC or the producers of the Bachelorette, what with how they’ve been portraying Bentley and all. But we have to applaud them for one thing – their willingness to embrace diversity. No, not racial or ethnic diversity (all the contestants on the show are WASPs after all), but rather intergalactic diversity. Take Ames for instance. We like Ames. He’s clearly from another planet. Every time we seem him, it warms our hearts that the producers care so much about their other-worldly viewers to include an extraterrestrial on the show (though it is not fair to pit him up against Bentley). Sure, Ames is an alien but why should that keep him from finding love? Plus, if winning Ashley’s heart isn’t in the cards, Ames still has several options open to him including commanding the alliance Starfleet, becoming an Emmy-award-winning crooner, or having father/son outings with Zeus.
Is it possible that Bentley is actually a good guy?
We apologists have always been staunch defenders of Bentley. Normally, that means we rationalize his “bad” behavior and tell you why he’s not actually as bad as he seems on The Bachelorette. To all our readers, we only have one thing to say. We’re sorry, we screwed up.
Not only is Bentley not a bad guy, but it turns out that he is actually a pretty good guy. Now normally, we at the Apologists like to create our own content. But in this case, we are pulling a Huff Po and gathering together some statements about Bentley from around the web. Check them out:
I don’t think Bentley is a total asshole…I just think he liked the camera and was doing whatever…Bentley, he was just kind of like, “Hey, you know what? I think I’m going to leave…”There’s no doubt in my mind that he missed his daughter, but I think it sounds cool or something to maybe say, “Yeah, I’m using my daughter thing, but it’s really not the case….”I have a feeling that I’ll be in touch with Bentley.
I really liked Bentley … he seemed genuine. He talked about his daughter all the time, so I really thought that his missing her … and then to see all this stuff on the show was a bit of a surprise. Maybe the truth is somewhere in the middle, but at least in my experience of Bentley, he was a good guy. I like him.
“He’s a really good father, he’s really involved. They’ve got a really great relationship. He adores her. I’d say he’s a really good father,” she explained. As for their marriage, Suzette told Billy and Kit, “It didn’t work out, he’s got a lot of great qualities, it just wasn’t right with us.”
Anonymous (Fellow Bachelorette contestant)
Courtesy of a fellow blogger: Today I got an e-mail from a Bachelorette insider (whose true identity I can neither confirm or deny, though they did sound very much “in the know”) to tell me that he’s been getting a kick out of my recaps so far this season. He also made an argument that Bentley is actually a fairly decent dude – “funny, chill, definitely competitive, but not the asshole the show’s making him out to be. They’re murdering the guy in editing!”
It’s important to remember that these varied characters have every incentive to take shots at him, but neither The Mask, That one dude, nor The Ex, nor the Anonymous Contestant were willing to throw Bentley under the bus. When all is said and done, Bentley critics will no doubt cross over to our side, and when they do, we will extend to them an olive branch (or at least a lock of Bentley’s luscious hair).
In Bentley’s (Beautiful) Shadow
On this week’s Bachelorette episode, Ashley finally gets to move on after Bentley and turns her attention to the other 12 guys who are seeking to win her affection. There’s only one problem – she (and the show) can’t seem to let him go. For Bentley fans, this does not come as a surprise. Just being in the same room with Bentley (even if he’s only there to break up with you) is worth at least two kayak rides, sage relationship advice form old-timers, and a pair of orange shorts. We just can’t stop hearing about Bentley, and for good reason, the show is a lot more fun with him than without him. Here are the recap statistics for this week’s episode. We counted the number of times Bentley’s name was mentioned as well as the number of times all the other contestants’ names were mentioned. As you can plainly see, Bentley continues to play a dominant role despite his departure.
In closing, we echo the sentiments of a clever Bachelorette critic who said:
“Yeah, I guess I miss Bentley the Douchebag [we do not condone this label] more than I thought, though not nearly as much as Ashley seems to. But who can blame her really? Without him, she’s left to select her husband out of a pack of do-gooders straight out of Sweet Valley High. Next week’s episode and the return of Bentley can’t come soon enough!”
Those broad shoulders sure caste a big shadow…
The Allure of Aloof
After re-watching the first several episodes of the Bachelorette, two things seem pretty clear. First, Bentley is by far the most aloof of the 25 contestants. Time and time again, he holds back, appearing to relish in his reservation. Second, Ashley is attracted to his aloofness. The more he holds back, the more she seems to dig him.
What is the allure of the aloof? Well, most simply it differentiates Bentley from the other contestants. Not only does it keep him from coming off like a desperate schmuck (see cheesy Solar Ryan in almost every episode), but it also cultivates in him a quiet sense of confidence. While all the other guys are aggressively pursuing Ashley, trying to make the most of their 3 minutes of one-on-one time with her, Bentley casually holds back. Ashley ends up approaching him! While all the other guys feel the need to vomit out their biggest accomplishments (“I started a solar company,”) or their most tragic experiences (“my dad was an alcoholic”), presumably to impress Ashley or evoke her sympathies, Bentley nonchalantly mentions the one thing that is most likely to be a deal-breaker (and maintain his distance from her): that he’s a divorced father. By essentially doing the opposite of what the others do and what the show expects, Bentley stands out from the pack and emerges as the most authentic and genuine guy on the show (note the same “realness” gets him in a pickle during the ITM interviews).
Aloofness signals that a guy is complex; he’s likely to be a challenge. In short, he’s interesting. Like any other smart girl, Ashley simply has a hard time resisting.
“Original Bachelorette Footage Edited”—Exclusive Commentary from Bentley*
*by Bentley we mean Bentley Apologists (that guy with amazing hair had nothing to do with this post)
In hearing from our readers we have noticed that not everyone gets what really goes on behind the scenes in reality TV and video editing. Contestants on the show are asked hundreds of questions about many, many topics (some completely unrelated to the show). Reality producers are looking for short sound bytes and commentary to play over the video footage of The Bachelorette. The producers want to “construct” a contestant thought narrative that appears to go along with the footage. The results are often good but sometimes are a little off (like when Ashley is talking while sitting awkwardly, staring into space as if she is pondering the mysteries of the universe, or commentary by Bentley while he is packing to leave the show).
Now with that background in mind, we want you to watch two edited interview segments as an obvious illustration of how context matters: Jay Leno interviews Clinton and a Bruce Willis interview (poor quality, don’t watch too much—not that funny). These are obviously edited segments to make the characters look ridiculous. Notice that in the low budget Bruce Willis interview, Bruce’s shirt changes due to footage edited from different interviews and different questions. The Bachelorette does not need to deal with this editing (shirt) problem because they can just use the audio and lay it over unrelated video footage of the subject. The Bentley Apologists group contends that this is what has happened to Bentley, and this process explains 90% of the most heinous comments attributed to Bentley.
Our contention is that producers have removed the context of Bentley’s answers and the timing of the questions. Producers could have asked a question about his first breakup and Bentley could say, “I’m done with her. She is so annoying.” If you cut out the question, the audio can be played over any footage of Ashley and Bentley, making it look as if this comment is about Ashley.
Bentley haters will no doubt say, “But he said those things. It doesn’t matter when or what the question was.” Actually it does matter. Context is everything. It’s all editing, and we will walk you through it in this post.
Click on the video links below and listen to the audio clips from Bentley’s last show (no doubt the last great episode of the season). Pay particular attention to the sound of Bentley’s voice and the sound echoes in the room in the “-edit-” part of the dialog transcribed below. It’s obvious that these are out of context comments from Bentley. Some are words probably not even from the original sentences or same interview based on the fact we never see what Bentley is wearing and how choppy these edits are.
Listen to time clip 1:05 to 1:17
[I really miss my daughter] –edit– [but] –edit– [I’m not leaving] –edit– [because of my daughter] -edit- [I’m not really in to Ashley] -edit- [ so] -edit- [regardless] -edit- [of] -edit- [Ashley’s emotions] -edit- [I know it’s the right decision for me]
[These tools, like these freaking idiots] -edit- [they] -edit- [believe me… …None of them have any idea] -edit- [that] -edit- [I don’t care about Ashley.] -edit- [I had the opportunity and I pla]- edit mid word] [everyone] -edit- [that’s something that has never been done before]
[so] -edit- [I’m going to make Ashley cry] -edit- [I hope my hair looks ok]
[I came into the Bachelorette] -edit- [hoping] -edit- [that] -edit- [it was] -edit- [Emily] -edit- [It’s like she is such a stand out, she is so breathtakingly beautiful that] -edit- [Ashley] -edit- [kind of looks like an ugly duckling to me.] -edit- [and] -edit- [if I’m not into the girl I’m not going to stick around]
None of Bentley’s most egregious comments even form a complete idea without edits. While it might be his words, it’s a bit like watching this clip from Craig Ferguson. You might hate Bentley for his actions, but it’s clear you can’t hate him for what he has said on the show.
Take a Stand Against “Violent Haters”
I am a violent hater.
Thus begins Jenna Kim Jones’ latest post, where she not only admits to having malicious intentions toward Bentley (and presumably all other incredibly good-looking, straight-talking, authentic men) but also claims she is digging in for a long battle.
Well, Jenna Kim Jones, presumptuous comedic interloper in our reality-starved world, you’ll have to wait in line. As we’ve already mentioned here, Jimmy Kimmel has fired the first shots against Bentley in a disturbing display of his burgeoning fascination with violence. Does Jenna have some new twist that she wants to bring to the debate? A flair for the dramatic, perhaps, or a propensity for exaggeration?
Let us remind you, Jenna, that we have something you don’t on our side. Put simply, we have the truth. You may have forgotten about this in your pilgrimage from Utah to New York, but we haven’t. Bentley’s inherent goodness, and the inherent awesomeness of his hair, will prove more than a match for any calumny you may throw at him from the safety of your Twitter fortress.
Bring it on, Jenna, bring it on.
Bentley Beats “Big League Chew” (Ben C.)
So Ashley seems to be pretty into this guy, Ben C. What do we even know about him? Well, he is definitely pretentious (speaking French with a thick American accent on the first night), he’s a lawyer (strike 2), he’s a lawyer who can’t formulate a coherent thought (see rambling, maniacal diatribe about love and relationships), he uses lame diversions to get girls’ attention (see poster board scam in episode 1), he went to Tulane (strike 3), he’s a lousy dancer, and he resembles the Big League Chew guy. We Apologists like Big League Chew, so that’s one thing he has going for him.
Now, how excited are you to watch Big League Chew Ben flub flash dances and spout off love tirades the rest of the season? We are guessing, not very. Bet you’re missing Bentley now, aren’t you?
The Soft Dump: Bentley’s Forte
We Apologists find ourselves frequently responding to comments with what should be common knowledge. The viewers with a naïve 
take on relationships are upset with Bentley lying to Ashley (all the time), but especially when he lied about why he was leaving the show. People have said, “Bentley should have told the truth about why he was leaving” and they had a problem with him saying, “Let’s not call it a period. Let’s call it dot dot dot.’ was totally uncalled for.”
The apologists have pity for people that make these sorts of comments (and who are about to read this post). They have likely been on the receiving end of a lie that bookended their relationship. As all smart, cool, and incredibly good-looking people know, everyone lies when they dump someone. It’s called a “soft dump,” and it’s actually one of the few aspects of reality that The Bachelorette has managed to capture. Yes, Bentley did lie instead of telling Ashley the truth, but he did this for the same reason that all smart, cool, and incredibly good-looking people do—so that we don’t have to deal with all your drama.
People lie when they know they are going to rip someone’s heart out. Seinfeld has made millions on this “soft dump” concept. For those of you that have never been dumped, this will be a great educational tool for you. Get the Seinfeld seasons and follow the core plots of nearly every episode where Jerry finds a reason to dump someone. Whether it was a two faced girl, Annoying Laugh, Man Hands, or talking belly button—Jerry made millions on the humor behind the reality of the “soft dump”. People dump people and don’t ever tell them why.
Several of you are just now realizing you may have been soft dumped when your last boyfriend said, “It’s not you, it’s me.” The truth he did not tell you was, “It’s totally you, and I just realized ‘you’re personality does not make up for your looks.’” Or when he said, “Can we still be friends?” What he meant was, “I don’t want to hang out with you, but please don’t be a stalker and try and kill me. You give me that vibe.” People have dumped you because you are annoying, overweight, underweight, unattractive or some combination or derivative thereof. Furthermore, they probably lied and soft dumped you to avoid hurting you.
The very nature of the soft dump leaves open the opportunity for the future (even though there never is a future). Alternatively to “dot dot dot” Bentley could have just said, “I’m not digging you.” But this never happens in reality. Bentley is the real deal, raw, and unedited (well, probably heavily edited but you get the picture). We dig him.
Bentley Williams – What is Real?
Philosophers like to start with fundamental questions. What is real, and how do we know it? On most commentary surrounding the Bachelorette, there is a lot of talk about Bentley being “cast” as the villain this season. This word, “cast” has always been interesting. Someone gets cast to play a part or role in a film or play. For example, there is the hero, the love interest, the sidekick, the clown, and, and of course the villain. Why is cast so interesting? Because it is inconsistent with the idea of “reality.” Being cast to play a role in real life is a contradiction, and a Reality TV Villain is an oxymoron. Kind of like Jumbo Shrimp, Army Intelligence, or Honest Politician. What many people do not realize of course about “reality” TV is that it is highly staged, planned, choreographed, and scripted. There are several reasons for this: (1) actual reality would be just too unwieldy involving too much uncertainty, (2) viewers supposedly want “heightened” real or drama (3) most of what people say is boring, and documentaries are really boring. What’s the evidence that the Bachelorette isn’t real? Well, how about the music that plays in the background each time you meet a character. Pleasant, cheerful music means we are supposed to like the character…err contestant…and root for him (J.P., Ben F.). Dark, foreboding music means we are supposed to dislike or distrust the contestant (really just Bentley this season), and silly music means that the contestant is the clown we are supposed to laugh at (the masked man, Drunk Tim, and to a lesser extent, William). The producers do the same thing with camera time comments and interactions with Ashley that they choose to show viewers. Here’s an excerpt from Reality Steve about Bentley:
“This show is supposed to find love for Ashley, and are supposed to cast guys that are wanting to be there for her and hopefully to fall in love, right? That’s the premise of the show. Sure, we know not every guy is REALLY there for that, but just the idea behind it is supposed to be legit. Well, they’ve known since the minute that Bentley stepped foot on the show, and hell probably even back to when they did his hometown video and the guy was talking about Emily, they knew he wasn’t into Ashley. He knew it and they knew it, yet they still cast him. It’s the shows fault, and Bentleys fault. Let’s say Bentley truly and honestly didn’t know that Ashley was the “Bachelorette” and the show lied to him the whole time telling him it was Emily (Remember, they started filming the night after Brad’s finale aired, so the latest he would’ve known for sure it was Ashley was the night before). So let’s say he didn’t watch “Jimmy Kimmel” the night before, and had no clue it was Ashley until he stepped out of the limo. Then why not just eliminate himself on the first night? Simple question that Chris Harrison, Mike Fleiss, ABC, Next Entertainment, and Warner Horizon will never answer: If Bentley never liked Ashley, why was he cast? They knew what they were doing the whole time because they know what the guy was saying about her in his ITM’s (In the Moment Interviews).”
In other words, Bentley’s on the show, so that the show will have a villain, so that it will be more interesting, so that you will watch it, so that it will get high ratings. The other contestants are just too plain vanilla to be able to pull off that role. So everyone needs to stop hating on Bentley. You may not like the role for which Bentley was cast, but that doesn’t mean you hate Bentley. That’s like saying you hate Anthony Hopkins for playing Hannibal Lecter. Plus, sexy villains like Bentley are way better than creepy villains.
Bentley Williams — Target of Violence?
Heading to Utah for the Salt Lake Comedy Festival. Hosting Friday’s show but I’m really in Utah to punch Bentley in the face.
Bachelorette Ashley: “I Feel So Betrayed.” No, We Feel So Betrayed!
So Bachelorette Ashley made it on the cover of People Magazine this week. Not surprisingly, it’s an interview with her about being on the show, and we get to hear all about the Comedy Club roast and her insecurities. Also not surprisingly, the article relentlessly castigates Bentley, portraying him as the biggest jerk that has ever been on the show.
Some gems from the article:
- “During the season’s first three episodes, he intentionally led her on, all the while giddily confessing in his one-on-one camera interviews that ‘I don’t care about Ashley at all.”
- “Looking back months later, Ashley finds that what hurts most is learning of his deception.”
- Producer Mike Fleiss, “We always try to tell an honest story.”
- And the real kicker: “ABC declined to make Bentley available for an interview.”
Seriously People Magazine? You are supposed to be more ‘fair and balanced’ than those other gossip rags. Wonder if Ashley would have made it on your cover if ratings hadn’t spiked (thanks Bentley, for providing the drama) or if everyone didn’t feel so sorry for Ashley (thanks again Bentley, for being so darn irresistible to her).
So Ashley Feels So Betrayed by all this. You know who else feels betrayed?
Viewers:
They are deprived of seeing Bentley, by far the most interesting contestant, on the show for the rest of the season. Wondering if the show will be lame without him? Don’t. It will
We don’t get to see our guy, nor do we even get to hear his side of the story (“ABC declined to make Bentley available for an interview.”) Instead, we get to watch a bunch of mannequins, the big league chew guy, Glambert, Disney’s Hercules, a few celebrity look-a-likes, and the Geico Cavemen pretending to be romantic. It sounds almost as fun as going to the dentist. Can’t wait for next week!
Jimmy Kimmel – Arbiter of Decency and Paragon of Respecting Women
In a video chat with Ashely, Jimmy Kimmel had the audacity to call Bentley “The Devil Incarnate” for his treatement of Ashley during the show. He then had his assistant beat Bentley with a bat.
Excerpt - Jimmy: “Bentley is the devil, that’s why he would want to do [those things[, he's the devil incarnate. They say that Satan will come to us in handsome form [Bentley is handsome so that's one thing Jimmy got right]. I don’t trust him at all, I think he might hate women. A woman named him Bentley so that’s a strike right here. I don’t know how he’s going to ever date again. I gues he’d have to find some sort of Amish soman who never had a television set. I don’t know where he goes from here. I guess that’s got to give you [Ashley] some consolation, doesn’t it?”
Gee Jimmy, thanks for sticking up for Ashley and defending women. America really appreciates your thoughtful critique of Bentley’s actions, and we look up to you as an arbiter of decency and a paragon of respecting women. It’s a good thing we have such a fine example as you of how to treat women. After all, you had that wonderful stint on “The Man Show” where you demonstrated to everyone how much class you have and how highly you value women. How is poor Bentley ever going to date again? Well, he’s good-looking and was a jerk for 10 minutes on TV, and you are ugly and have always been a jerk on TV. How’s your dating life?
Bentley Williams—The Only Guy With Class on The Bachelor/Bachelorette (admittedly a low bar)
In the last three weeks Bentley Williams has been called every derogatory name in the book, and people have bought into the drama. What The Bachelorette/Bachelor series hopes you never realize is that Bentley is actually the classiest guy from any season on both franchises.
To the women, we ask: If you were The Bachelorette, who would you prefer as a contestant? Would you rather date a guy twice (with ~2hrs of alone time) like Bentley, who feigns interest in you, leads you to kiss him, and maybe even breaks your hear? Or would you prefer to date a guy for 2 months, who has somewhat confused feelings about you. This other guy will capture your heart, sleep with you, and also with two to five other contestants. Days later, he will toss you to the curb in a final rose ceremony so he can pick the other girl he slept with.
Ask yourself—is a relationship with Bentley better than every single “fantasy suite” date with any guy on The Bachelor? You don’t have to be a Bentley Apologist to answer–YES! The betrayal we see every season of the series confirms this narrative. Evidently, each Bachelor sleeps with an average of three girls per season. You don’t have to go far on Google to find the creator of the show bragging (vicariously) that some sleep with as many as 5 girls on the show (Way to go, nice guy Bob Guiney)
Bentley did something no other guy has ever done on the show. He passed on all this garbage, said goodbye to the show, and kept Ashley from deeper heartbreak. People can hate what he says (even if the edits are true), but they can’t deny that taking himself out of the game when Ashley thinks he is “the one” is classier than any helicopter date or fancy dinner before a final rose ceremony. Yes Bentley, I’d rather have you date my daughter over any of those slime balls that the show typically holds up on a pedestal.
How about the producers and Chris Harrison? Is Bentley really the worst contestant ever? On an episode where William publicly humiliates Ashley in front of a live audience, the producers still manage to make it look insignificant next to Bentley. For savvy viewers, this is a pure ratings ploy created by out of context answers to unrelated questions. Sensational editing has made a mountain out of a molehill with Bentley on the show. Only in Hollywood would a guy who passes on all this garbage and forgoes a free vacation be so vilified, while a Bachelor that sleeps with all the contestants before picking “the one” gets held up on a pedestal as an example of a great catch.
Why did Ashley like Bentley so much when people repeatedly warned her about him? Maybe because the producers don’t want to show us any glimpse of Bentley that might be inconsistent with the villain they cast him as. But this is the side that Ashley loved, the Bentley that is kind and considerate. We’re betting that that is the Real Bentley.
A Rose for Emily (Maynard)
Everyone is making a big deal out of the fact that Bentley said he prefers Emily Maynard to Ashley Hebert. Guess what, so does Brad Womack (he picked her), so do viewers (they love her), and so does ABC (they approached her about doing the show first). That means that it is a virtual statistical impossibility that Bentley is the only contestant that prefers someone over Ashley. He’s just the only one that has come right out and said it.
So what does Emily think about Bentley? Her initial reaction was similar to Ashley’s – she said he was handsome and charming. Then she “got to know him” through the show. In other words, she caved to the court of public opinion, became a puppet to the producers, and jumped on Chris Harrison’s Bentley-is-a-villain bandwagon. She could learn a thing or two from contrarian Bentley (or the Apologists). Have the courage to be different!
But be warned Emily. You seem like a super nice girl and are clearly gorgeous. People tend to like you (Bentley Apologists included). But if you don’t start voicing your own opinions, everyone will lose interest quickly, and you will fade from our cultural memory. “A Rose for Emily” can either evoke the most beautiful contestant in the history of the Bachelor or a debutante’s necrophilia. Your choice.
Bentley Joins Blankfein as Goldman Chief
The Apologists have been critical of some people’s claims that Bentley went on The Bachelorette for “the wrong reasons.” However, it seems as if the stories about him going on show to promote his business career may actually have had some merit. In an upcoming press release, the prestigious investment bank is slated to announce the promotion of Bentley Williams to co-CEO. It is widely believed that he is being groomed to eventually lead the bank, which has struggled to shake its negative image in the wake of the financial crisis. According to current CEO, Lloyd Blankfein, “I am honored to share the CEO title with Bentley. The guy really showed us what he’s made of on The Bachelorette. He’s a sharp dresser and one of the few people with better hair than me.” Although we totally have egg on our face, we are so excited for Bentley. It’s so great that the producers picked you for this reality show so you can promote your business career at Goldman Sachs. If you can’t give Ashley your heart, maybe you can at least give her a great deal on some mortgage-backed securities.
Bentley and the Competition (Part II)
Luckily, many of the contestants don’t pose much of a threat. There seem to be quite few boring guys that don’t stand out much, a few celebrity look-a-likes, and a couple of contestants that are so dull that it is impossible to find any pictures to make fun of them. Is there any reason, other than Bentley Williams, to watch this show? Nope.
Bentley and the Competition (Part I)
Bentley faces some stiff competition from other contestants on The Bachelorette this season
Why “Drunk Tim” really started drinking
Much has been made about Bachelorette contestant, Drunk Tim, getting himself totally wasted on the first night. The consensus seems to be that Drunk Tim was super nervous and needed a little “liquid courage” to help him cope. Here’s a more plausible alternative: Drunk Tim started drinking as soon as he found out he was up against Bentley. Knowing that he could not hope to measure up to Bentley in the eyes of Ashley, he basically gave up and starting drinking. Can you really blame him?
Screenshot from Chris Harrison’s iPad
This is beyond inappropriate. Chris Harrison is already telling viewers which contestants they are allowed to like and which contestants they’re supposed to hate. Now he’s running around scribbling over pictures of the Best Looking Bachelorette contestant of all time (and quite possibly one of the best looking men in America). Bentley’ s picture is a cultural artifact, a symbol of what was once thought to be an unattainable ideal for handsomeness. You can trash him on TV, and spew venom about him in your blog rants, but we will not stand idly by while you deface our cultural artifacts and mock our sense of beauty and wonderment. Get a life, Chris Harrison!
Douche trends: or Why Chris Harrison Hates Bentley
Bachelorette host Chris Harrison has been fairly relentless when it comes to criticizing Bentley. He has called him the “worst villain ever on The Bachelorette,” has blogged that the things Bentley said were “out of line and disrespectful,” and were “not appropriate,” and finally that Bentley was “not cool in his book.” (Given his profound respect for Chris Harrison, Bentley is probably most concerned with this last one). With so many other contestants to pick on (Ben “the Caveman” Flajnik; Ames “Disney’s Hercules” Brown), it kind of makes you wonder what Chris Harrison has against Bentley. The answer may lie in the above graph of trends in Google searches. The red line indicates a search for “douche” while the blue and orange lines represent Chris Harrison and Bentley, respectively. As you can see, Chris Harrison has always been a huge douche, and although both are trending upwards, Bentley seems to have recently overtaken him. So keep the criticism coming Chris Harrison. Maybe you can stave off the title of biggest douche on the show, at least for another week or so.
Bentley: a Great Catch for any Gal
Bentley is:
Poetic (tickle my pickle)
Considerate and caring (offers to ‘burp’ Drunk Tim in episode 1; helps him get to the limo)
Athletic (he’s a swimmer, in pee or otherwise)
Honest (expressed his preference for Emily)
Incredibly good looking (see any post on this site)
Can be the designated driver (doesn’t drink, apparently)
Will let you plan your own wedding however you want (he would rather be swimming)
Passionate (do I need to ram my tongue down her throat?)
Contrarian (in a world of “yes men,” we need some more “NO! Men.” No to wedding planning, no to drinking, no to swimming on conventional liquids)
Swimming in Pee vs. Planning a Wedding
People are bashing Bentley for saying he would rather swim in pee than plan a wedding with Ashley. Even writing those harsh words makes you cringe. But consider a few things.
Planning a wedding is a hard job. There’s the cake, the flowers, the guest list, the venue, the music, the bridesmaid gifts, the dinners with people you don’t know all that well. All of this takes an enormous amount of time, money, and a whole lot of stress. But you know what’s worse? Planning a wedding that will be televised in front of millions of people with someone you have only spent 20 minutes with (1 on 1). Bentley was simply expressing his distaste for planning weddings in general. And guess what?
While the other contestants have stars in their eyes, he actually knows what it’s like to plan a wedding. So before your criticize Bentley, have a good look in the mirror and ask yourself how much your guy would enjoy planning a wedding with you. He may prefer doing just about anything else, including taking a dip in a steaming pool of urine.
Bentley and the Water Glass
In both episodes of The Bachelorette, the contestants toast Ashley. Bentley’s glass looks to be different than the other contestants.’ Some claim he’s drinking water, others suggest it might be vodka. Neither are correct. The clear liquid is actually an elixir originating from Catarata Gocta, a waterfall in Peru. The elixir, which comes packaged in a velvet case, is said to contain special properties that adds luster to hair and makes skin more radiant. It’s definitely working, Bentley…
Bentley, helping Ashley find love
People tend to highly value things that they have suffered for. That’s because they have to be able to justify the effort they made to get them. It’s called “suffering-leads-to-liking”
From previews, it appears that Ashley’s Bachelorette experience will have some suffering because of Bentley. But in going through this ordeal, she will become more attached to whichever contestant she does ends up with. So stop giving Bentley a hard time. He’s actually helping her find love!
Plus, it’s not all suffering – she still gets to run her fingers through that luscious hair…
